I've found an old CD I used to listen a few years ago. It gave me the idea for this post. :)

( 20 classic rock bands I had in my playlist for years... )
There's no way in hell I could not love Dean SPN. *g*

I'm back, again. Only this time I intend it to be permanent. I feel much better now, I don't need daily intravenous infusion drips anymore and my doctor says I won't need most of my pills in a couple of weeks. I still have migraines, but they are nothing compared to my previous headaches, so I'll live. :))

Sooo... Sam listened to Morrisey, ABBA and Ace of Base in college.
Well, I knew about this song of ABBA, 'cause my mother loves ABBA, but now that I know Sam knows it too... *laughs hysterically*

He Is Your Brother by ABBA

"I was a fighter always looking for trouble
And my life was so empty, there was nothing left to live for
But then it happened one night as I got into a fight
I could hear someone saying as though he was praying

Treat him well, he is your brother
You might need his help one day
We depend on one another
Love him, that's the only way
On the road that we're going (on the road)
We all need words of comfort and compassion (we all need)
Treat him well, he is your brother
Love him, that's the only way"

Oh. My. God. *and that's all she said*

Prehistory: some time ago I told my friend naglfarwreckage that SPN made me a masochist. Sadly, I didn't have photoshop due to the re-installation of Vista back then to make an icon, and when I finally got my PS CS2 (thanks again, schtoph!) I totally forgot about this idea.
And now look what sweetgirl7808, this wonderful person and amazing artist (you should must visit her journal if you haven't already! I'm serious! Spent there almost 7 hours today))) made for me!

I'm so excited, I might explode)) Thank you, my dear! *hugs tightly*


Also, I want to rec a very sad and very beautiful video. Most of you have seen it already, but personally I found it only yesterday.
All I Have (+YouTube link) by hay1ock
Song: Family Portrait by Pink
Author's summary: A pre-pilot look at the Winchesters through Dean's eyes. All Dean wants is a family, his may be pretty shitty at times but its his and all he has. No matter how they behave, he needs them. As arguments escalate Sammy makes the decision it's time to go. But Dean still has John right? Eventually, as they separate on hunts, Dean finally finds himself alone.

( lyrics used in the vid )

The raw emotions, the lyrics, the faded, almost black and white style, Dean, trying to do his best to hold his family together... In totality it was so painful, it broke my heart. I can still feel the stinging in my eyes. God, that's one of the best fanvids I've ever seen. See? My new icon is right.

For the first time in years I'm using a layout I didn't make myself. I just couldn't help it and had instantly fallen in love with the gorgeous "Back in Black" Impala layout made by fuesch.
--
*looks at the TV screen* They started airing SPN here in Russia once again. I'm currently watching 1.12, Faith. And... God, our translation seriously sucks! *LOL* Now that I've had a chance to watch eight S3 episodes with the original voices, I find it difficult to listen to the russian version. "Our" Dean's voice (and especially his laughter!) really irritates me. And still I can't just turn off TV, just can't.
Btw, is it merely a coincidence that they're airing "Faith" today, when it's orthodox christmas? My whole family's celebrating. Well, except for me, that is. My brothers and I are the only ateists among our relatives. Guess I'd better go meet my friends. Being at home on a day like this is very... uncomfortable. Once I've managed to answer to "Christ is Risen!" "Um, yeah?" instead of the correct "Indeed risen". I'm a lost cause I know.

OK, maybe it's just me here, but I think this song should be in my wincest playlist. I have a sick imagination? Yeah, probably.

Marilyn Manson - If I Was Your Vampire

6 AM, Christmas morning
No shadows
No reflections here
Lie cheek to cheek in your cold embrace.

It started so tragic as a slaughterhouse
SHe pressed the knife against your heart
And say that I love you so much you must kill me now.
I love you so much you must kill me now...
( The rest of it )

And speaking of wincest playlist... Does anybody know is there a fanvid to the "Demolition Lovers" by My Chemical Romance? I'm dying to have a visual picture, not just random scenes playing inside my head, when I listen to this song.

Whew, it's been a long time. A lot happened to me over the past weeks, so I figured I'd highlight the main events only. And those would be:

I've started watching SPN season 3. The end. :) Seriously, I don't know what to say without spoilering people. :-/ I love S3 Dean (even if his speech in the end of 3.01 episode made me want to punch him in the head))). I love S3 Bobby. I like S3 Sam (wow, that was unexpected, really. 'cause I'm totally a Dean girl). And I love that they give us more information about demons. I hate new female characters though, but that was easy to predict))

I have a new internet connection that lets me download pictures and videos and that's just great because I got tired of using browser with the images turned off. So yay for picspams and fanvideos. *is happy*

My cat Serj turned 11 years old. Long live my darling. Pictures of him ( are under the cut )

Tags: family stuff, supernatural

I can't help it. Everytime I listen to the song below, I keep imagining this situation: post 2.22. AU. Sam tried to save Dean, broke the deal, the Red Eyed Demon took everything back and Dean was left alone. He went a little insane after that. Now he kills each and every "evil" thing he comes across, even if some of them are harmless (e.g. Lenore). It takes him a month to kill as many "evil sons of bitches" as any other hunter manages in half a year.

Hammerfall - Renegade

( read the lyrics and you'll understand what I mean )

I've just came home from Diorama show! *Torben is love* I can't fully express how was it because the only word I have right now is awesome and awesome and then again awesome. So I figured, I'd rather write about what I DIDN'T like. Because I have to say that out loud. The only thing that really annoyed me was that people didn't know the lyrics. At all. Many of them didn't even hear Diorama before but thought it was "cool" to visit the concert. And what makes it even worse - the band is german, yes, but they'd chosen to play english songs so that russian people could understand them and sing along. In reality, "russian people" just stood there like they were... I dunno.. dead? 'cause that's the only excuse I can understand. Christ, half of them did't even move!

"This song is called "Advance". Do you know this song?"
"Yeah..."
"Do you wanna sing along?"
"Yeah..."

And when he gave his microphone to the audience, there was... silence. ^^"
I'm starting to hate the city I live in. *ashamed* Torben, the leader of the group said that he'd had a great time and he's looking forward to come back to Ufa next year. I somehow doubt that... :(

The good thing is that because my friends and I knew the lyrics (and it seemed like we were the only ones), we ended up standing in the first line near... scratch that... AT the stage, because it was a small club and there were no security line (actually there was one in the beginning, but then they dissappeared somewhere, probably deafened by the sound *g*). And we touched Torben during the show (or, in fact, he was touching us and shaking our hands)))

I haven't posted here in a while which is surprising even for me - I thought I'd be spending over the internet all my time now that I have a notebook computer. Anyway... Today I'm going to Diorama concert, it's a german darkwave band, I don't know why there're visiting Ufa with their show but I'm so happy right now.

Still trying to restore information from my old hard drive. The only problem remaining - I can't connect the hard drive to notebook and my friends either have notebooks too or don't have a card to be able to connect notebook and computer through local network. Most of all I miss my music folder. Autumn is my favourite season and usually I wait for it to come starting from January. And I used to have a special autumn playlist, for each month and each kind of weather. Now all that remains from it is Diorama, Lacrimosa, a bit of Marilyn Manson and Ozzy Osbourne, Mozart and Vivaldi.

My computer "died on me" 3 days ago and I had to buy a new one - Acer notebook (finally I own a notebook! *dances happily*). Now I have NO money like... at all. *g* But this way I can read fanfiction while lying on a sofa and that's just... amazing. It was worth it, I suppose. :)

My brother have just called to say that maybe - just maybe - he'd be able to come tomorrow to wish me a happy birthday. He've cancelled his vacation three days before its end and is currently trying to buy a ticket to Ufa, but he's not sure whether he could arrive in time - there's a lot of people returning home from vacations and plane-tickets are hard to buy. Almost all of my friends (except two) aren't in town now. I was thinking about not celebrating b-day at all and was ready to spend the day reading fan fiction (or watching a movie, or listening to music etc.) And now it seems like tomorrow is going to be way more interesting than I've expected. Oh god, my brother have absolutely NO idea how much I love him.

I wish Den (my second brother) could make it to my b-day too. But unfortunately it's not possible.

I've found a quote which is best describing my life or-- to be more accurate-- what I do to/with my life, since I agree with Dean: "You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what." (c) 2.01. So the quote is:

Seriously fucked up. And Dean doesn't want it any other way anymore. (c) "For the End of my Broken Heart" by Bloodkisses.

I really don't want my life any other way. Not anymore. I've finally accepted my life with all the "fucked-uppery" I can't change. I guess this is what it's like to be an adult. And it took me hell of a lot time to catch up with it - officially I'm an adult since august, 2006.

Many happy returns, Sammy-- erm... Sam Winchester! Happy 24th birthday!
The soundtrack song for this day is definitely Placebo's "Bitter End" (even though I never liked this band much, I have to admit some of their songs make me think about Winchesters. And that's the main reason I saved them to my music library):
Since we’re feeling so anesthetised
In our comfort zone
Reminds me of the second time
That I followed you home

We’re running out of alibis
From the second of May
Reminds me of the summer time
On this winter’s day

See you at the bitter end.

Every step we take that’s synchronized
Every broken bone
Reminds me of the second time
That I followed you home

You shower me with lullabies
As you’re walking away
Reminds me that it’s killing time
On this fateful day.

This song caused a slideshow back inside my head: the image of Dean watching Sam leaving for college, followed by the "I can't do this alone... well, I don't want to..." scene, then there's this moment from the "Pilot" (deleted scene) - Dean figures out something's not right and drives back to Sam's apartment, the "We got work to do" moment, followed by random hunt scenes, when brothers stand against night creatures side by side, occasionally getting injured and afterwards helping each other with peroxid and bandages, continued with the images of them fighting that demon, both knowing the bitter end is near but they're gonna face it together and it's okay, really, for as long as they have each other nothing else matters.

Sam: This is weird.
Dean: What?
Sam: After all these years, we’re finally here. It doesn’t seem real.
Dean: We just got to keep our heads and do our job like always.
Sam: Yeah, but this isn’t like always.
Dean: True.
Sam: Dean, uh…. I wanna thank you.
Dean: For what?
Sam: For everything. You’ve always had my back, you know? Even when I couldn’t count on anyone, I could always count on you. And now….I don’t know, I just wanted to let you know—just in case.
(1.21, "Salvation")

In Russia they'd translated the phrase "we’re finally here" as "we're finally together" and for a moment I wasn't sure whether I'd fallen asleep while watching (and therefore dreaming about wincest) or I'd just gone crazy. Seriously how could wincest shipper survive that? I was so stunned I didn't even hear my phone ringing (when I finally answered the phone there was my friend saying "I thought they were brothers!" instead of "hi". ^__^